Words Left Unspoken
by BrownSugarC
Summary: A late night phone call and the unfolding story that follows only confirms the thoughts that loyal NCIS New Orleans and Percy and LaSalle followers always suspected.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Sonja Percy almost didn't answer the call. She was still suffering from jet lag from another overseas assignment. She knew it wasn't the office and she had just spoken with her mother and sister the day before. She decided she would go look and see who it was and decide then. Loretta Wade? Oh no she thought. This cannot be good.

"Hello Loretta."

"Hello Sonja."

"This is bad news isn't it" she said recalling the last late night call from New Orleans that disclosed that Dwayne Pride had been shot.

"Yes, I'm sorry Sonja it is. Chris LaSalle was shot a couple of hours ago. It's not looking good. I'm not sure what you are doing but I knew you would want to know and honestly Sonja, I think Tammy and Chris both need you."


	2. Words Looking Back

"Our relationship has always been complicated" Christopher LaSalle once told Triple P. He certainly was thinking of the tugboat, the hug, the tension, jail, the conversation, the anger, confrontation by Pride, the peacemaking, the death and rebirth of the mouse twins and the job offer, when he said that.

Sonja Percy had a long history of becoming restless. We slowly learned of some of her painful past. We can only guess that she had lost a partner or team mate to death over the years in her battle against crime.

The last words that LaSalle had heard out of Sonja Percy's mouth seemed to be a rebuke. Tammy asked her to sing one last song at the bar and she cried her way through a song by Aretha Franklin titled 'Ain't No Way'. He undoubtedly wanted to turn her off after the first two lines. He had to know that she was talking about him throughout the entire song. He already felt bad enough so he saw no need to rub in the pain and sorrow that way. She literally fell off the stage into Tammy's arms with both of them crying. He stood up and like a bullet ran for the door. He remembered he had a few beers at the house and drove straight there and drank them all after he found the song on line. He doubted any one could begin count the number of times that he played the song.

The next morning LaSalle woke up in a bad way but there was no way that he could not show up for work. He knew paperwork was waiting for the team and there would be no Percy there to help with it.

Tammy gave him the funniest look when he walked. "So what happened to you" she asked. "I got a call that I needed to return so I headed on home" he lied.

He saw the doubt in her eyes and she saw the look on his face and let the conversation die. It wasn't until that afternoon when Pride asked them to go to NOPD to get a suspect that she broached the subject. He certainly dreaded it the moment that they got into his truck.

"So you really have nothing to say LaSalle?"

"What words could I possibly have to say Tammy? That I wrong to let her go without saying anything? That I probably messed up? That she really didn't want to go but I forced her out? Just what could I say Tammy that you haven't already thought?"

Several days passed by and there were mornings that Tammy looked worse than LaSalle. Isn't that the same shirt she had on yesterday he thought? He recognized the signs what's going on because he had done it too. Monday he finally said something to Sabastian. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. "She's not doing well Chris" Sabastian replied.

"What you mean?"

"No other words but she's not doing well. She's out all hours of the night. Sleeping around. I think she's going to crash."

Later that day he set up dinner with her then she just disappeared. Pride got worried and when they went to her place she was nowhere to be found. Two days later the team finally found her in the nick of time.

LaSalle was barely holding on himself. With no Tammy to talk to he wallowed in his beer and played that song over and over again. LaSalle was looking forward to going back home to see his brother Cade when they got a big case. It was tough and they finally got it settled.

He forced himself to push past the pain. His old NOPD partner reached out and included him in some of his family events. Triple P added jaunts to their weekly 'boy's night out'. One thing he did avoid was women. Tammy watched him like a hawk in that arena reminding him of what shallow relationships had done to him in the past. She also reminded him that she had Percy's new cellphone number and that it was still not too late to reach out to her.


	3. Words Then She Ran Chapter 2

It's difficult to be a woman working in a traditional man's world. Dwayne Pride was one of the first men to give Sonja Percy the respect that she deserved. He also had a habit of being successful in snooping around and finding out the details of suspects and in this case one of the good guys.

What he discovered surprised him. This undercover agent had brought down two huge operations. Her outward snarky behavior provided her with a believable persona. She had never given anyone cause to suspect her as a fed. What he didn't know was what drove her to excel in the work/mission that she had undertaken – the death of a childhood friend and her own near death.

Percy had never really recovered from the death of her friend or the part that she played in it. It was only after being confronted by Chris LaSalle that she realized that she had never gotten over that whole situation. A few months later there was a second encounter with her new supervisor who also encouraged her to settle the situation. Resolving the situation with Marian almost cost her her relationships with Pride and LaSalle as well as her job in NCIS. Thankfully Percy was able to realize the damage that she had done and work vigilantly to repair it with both men. For some reason it was easier with LaSalle than Pride. It would only be a few years later in her life that she would discover why. She had no way of knowing that he was being drawn in her orbit and she into his heart.

Living in a man's world allowed her to freely accept Merrie Brody's companionship and friendship. While she had had her own 'flair' for years, Merrie helped her get back on track to allowing herself to dress and act more feminine. Soon she was out having a good time and checking out men like a normal 26 year old woman should. She tried to hate Gregorio but the day after she saved Pride and LaSalle from an assassin's bullet she began to grow on her. Bonded by their terrible choice in men, the two because the closet of friends and finally roommates.

It was after nearly dying during her last case with NCIS that she able to clearly realize that it was time for her to move on. Saying farewell to her team mates was extremely difficult. Saying goodbye to LaSalle was nearly impossible she thought as she looked at the grief in his face just before their last hug. She looked around the office as he walked out and realized that in spite of everything he said in those final moments, he never once asked her to reconsider her decision and stay with him.

Later in the evening, Tammy begged her to sing one last song. Why the song came to her mind kind of surprised her until she began to sing to the words to Aretha's 'Ain't No Way'. She soldiered through the song and nearly fell off the stage to be consoled by Tammy. The words pretty much explained her relationship with Christopher. She looked around the room and realized that he must have left with no final words to her. It kind of made her mad. She turned to give Tammy one final hug and then turned and walked out of the bar and never looked back.


	4. The Late Night Call

Sonja Percy almost didn't answer the call. She was still suffering from jet lag from another overseas assignment. She knew it wasn't the office and she had just spoken with her mother and sister the day before. She decided she would go look and see who it was and decide then. Loretta Wade? Oh no she thought. This cannot be good.

"Hello Loretta."

"Hello Sonja."

"This is bad news isn't it" she said recalling the last late night call from New Orleans that disclosed that Dwayne Pride had been shot?

"Yes, I'm sorry Sonja it is. Chris LaSalle was shot a couple of hours ago. It's not looking good. I'm not sure what you are doing but I knew you would want to know and honestly Sonja, I think Tammy and Chris both need you."

Sonja didn't need any further urging. She hung up and called her boss relaying that there was an emergency that she needed to attend to. She got on line to make flight reservations and suddenly remembered that the Air Force had two regular flights from New Orleans each week. She packed her suitcase, headed for her car and drove through the gate out to the hanger. Sure enough the flight was coming in that night and the NCO at the hanger said that there was a sling that she could have on the return flight to New Orleans.

She got back into her jeep and went to the adjoining civilian airport where she could use her cell phone. "I'll be in at 5 a.m. Could you send a car to meet me at the gate" she texted Loretta?

She should not have been surprised to see Tammy at the door of the hanger when she landed. They hung on to each for so long that a security officer came up to tell them that they needed to vacate the secure area.

Tammy shared the details of the incident. Chris had run into a store to get a six –pack and interrupted an armed robbery. The robber swung around aiming directly at him and fired. Chris fired at nearly the same time and took the robber out.

Sonja volunteered to drive wondering how a shaken Tammy had made it safely that far. The whole team was at the hospital along with LaSalle's old partner from NOPD and a couple of Coast Guard officers that the team had worked with on mutual cases.

Sonja looked up to see an older lady and a familiar face approaching the group. "That's Chris' mother and his brother Cade" Tammy whispered.

"Cade, this is Sonja Percy, Chris' old partner" she said.

"Hello Sonja. It's nice to meet you. Chris has told us a lot about you."

Sonja looked over to see a surprised look on Mrs. LaSalle's face like she had seen a ghost.

"You're Sonja" she asked looking mysteriously at her?

"Yes Ma'am." Sonja extended her hand which she took and would not let go of. She pulled her into a bear hug so tightly that Sonja could barely breathe. Finally she asked Sonja to sit with her.

"I don't know if I should tell this child but my boy thinks a lot of you. Was there something going on between the two of you" she asked"?

"No ma'am We were partners and good friends" she responded as Mrs. LaSalle watched her biting her lip. Sonja knew immediately that her 'tell' was showing once again. Christopher had confronted her about her biting her lip when she wasn't telling it all.

"Look Miss Sonja, you may not know this but I am pretty sure that my son was in love with you. You're the girl that left last year aren't you?" Sonja nodded. "You don't need to say another word Missy, I've heard the whole story."

Just then a doctor comes out. He asks for the family of Chris LaSalle and Mrs. LaSalle speaks up "I'm his mother but this is all his family, just tell us all."

'It doesn't look good the doctor says. He took a horrible shot to the right lung. We got the bullet out but there is always the chance of complications."

"Can we see him" Cade asks? "Yes.

"Yes, but I just want the immediate family to go in for the first couple of hours." Cade starts out with his mother immediately following still holding Sonja's hand. "This is his girl" she defiantly says and keeps on walking.

Sonja wasn't ready for what she encountered in the room. There were tubes running everywhere out of Christopher's body. Mrs. LaSalle stood by his bed and started to stroke her son's face as she quietly talked to him. "Hi baby, momma's here. Cade came with me to check up on you and your friend Sonja is in here with us." Sonja could have sworn that his hand moved when she said her name. "We need you to wake up son. I want to see those beautiful blue eyes that you have."

"Hey bro' come on now and wake up I need to get back to Alabama" Cade adds. They were in the room about twenty minutes when a nurse came in and she needed to check his vitals. They returned to the waiting room with the rest of the team. A short while later the nurse came back out. "You can go back in now" she said looking at Chris' mother.

"Why don't you go back in Sonja and take Mr. Pride with you." Sonja could see the funny looks that everyone gave her. Well, everyone but Tammy who gave her a weak smile of encouragement.

Once in the room Sonja moved to the other side of the bed to allow Pride better access to Chris. He took his hand and told him what a brave thing he had done. He encouraged him to fight hard so he could get back on the job. "Sonja flew back to see how you are doing Chris. I'm going to let her talk with you for a while."

Sonja managed to hold on until Pride left the room to start crying. She couldn't hear herself but she must have felt the tears. Sonja went around to the other side of the bed to grab a tissue.

"My mouth started running and I couldn't stop. I begged him to wake up. I will stay here until you do. I told him how I hated leaving him. It's all so complicated Christopher" she said. "You left me little choice. It was so hard to be around you. To want be with you so badly."

"It only took a week for me to realize that maybe I should have stayed and tried once again to let you know how I felt and how I believed that we could be good together. I knew I loved you and I don't think that I was the only one of us with those feelings though. I should have tried harder Chris." At that she breaks down weeping at his bedside.

Sonja turned back around to grab some more tissues and find the trash can. When she turned back around she could see Chris looking back at her.

"Christopher. You scared me. I had to fly all the way here to make sure you were going to get up out of this bed. Let me go get the doctor". Chris tried to grab her hand stopping her from leaving. He couldn't talk with the endotracheal tube down his throat.

"Your mother, Cade and the team are out in the waiting area she told him. They want you to get better so that they come in and see you as well. Now let me go get the doctor."

Thirty minutes later the doctor came back out.

"We were able to remove the breathing tube but we will leave oxygen on him for a while. I'm still very surprised that he is conscious. That's the good thing. The bad thing is that we know he is in considerable pain. I usually do what I feel what is completely necessary. I would normally put a patient into an induced coma but Mr. LaSalle has a living will that would prevent me from doing that. We are monitoring him very closely. I hate saying this but I think that you should call the rest of his family members here."

Sonja got up and walked down the hall with Tammy closely behind her. Once she got out the front door, she lost it. As Tammy embraced her, they both just wept. "What are we going to do Sonja? How am I going to live without LaSalle" Tammy cried? "He has got to pull through."

"Oh Sonja. He loves you so much. I urged him to call you and to go after you. He was so broken. I heard him playing that song you sang the last night you were here. He would continually change the subject and finally I just let it go.

"He supported me every day before and after the kidnapping. He tried to hide how much pain that he was in when you left. He hardly said anything to me but opened up to 'P' about how much he cared for you. I wish I had known that he was talking because I think Triple P was wrong in telling him not to come after you."

Sonja was stunned. Here was one more person telling her how much Chris cared about her. Why didn't he say something she thought? Why did he have to keep it to himself she asked?

Sonja stayed at the hospital all the next day and night.

He made it through another night. He tried to talk. He managed to say the words "love you" to both his mother and Percy. The tears were coming from both of their eyes as he looked at the reaction in Sonja's face and eyes. "Christopher, I love you too she said. I should have stayed and fought for you. I am so sorry."

She stood and watched him sleep for the remainder of the twenty minutes that she had with him that night.

Tammy convinced her to go back to her place to catch a quick shower and find something to eat. They stopped at the grocery store to shop. The shower felt so good. Sonja was sitting out on the deck combing her hair out when she heard Tammy's phone ring. She knew what had happened as soon as she turned around and saw Tammy's facial expression.

"No" she screamed! "Please don't say it"!

"I'm sorry Sonja, he's gone."

They hurried back to the hospital to be greeted by hushed tones as everyone looked at her. Still crying Sonja ran to his room to find Mrs. LaSalle weeping at his bed side.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Those were the only words that would come out of her mouth. Cade ran to catch her before she hit the floor. He held her up while she wept uncontrollably.

Sonja suddenly realized that Pride was talking to her. "Come on Sonja. We need to leave so they can take care of him." A woman came in and helped them get to a private waiting room. It seemed like a flash when she realized that there was a Navy chaplain in the room. He had come from the CACO (Casualty Assistance Calls Office) office to help them even though they were civilians.

Cade asked Sonja to move over by his mother. They clung to each other as the chaplain knelt down in front of them and prayed with them all. The rest of the day was a complete blur.


	5. Remembering New Orleans Style

Christopher's mother wanted to take him home to be buried with his other family members back in Alabama. She asked Sonja to be present. There was no way that she could say no.

Chris' had shared with Sonja how he was fascinated with the coffins of the many sailors and marines that he had buried while living in New Orleans. Sonja had asked the CACO if there was a way to give Chris' family a flag that had flown over the City Hall building. "Actually Agent Percy, I believe that Agent LaSalle is entitled to a flag of his own since he was acting as a law enforcement officer he was shot."

It only took a few hours to confirm that Christopher was indeed eligible for a flag since his death was determined to be 'in line of duty' as he was trying to prevent a 'crime against the people' from being committed. The family chose to have his flag placed inside of the coffin rather than draped on the coffin.

Pride had made arrangements for a memorial service in New Orleans. The Hall was packed. Between his time as a law enforcement officer and a party boy, he had acquired a great number of friends and acquaintances. There were a lot of stories about Chris.

There were several New Orleans's tradition of remembering the dead. While the NCIS family didn't have a "Second Line" for him, the celebration was just as joyful. There was a live band procession from the hall to Pride's Bar with several blown up photos of Chris throughout the bar.

Sonja was surprised that Pride made it through the funeral without breaking down. He tried so hard to keep it together for the rest of the team but she had caught him at a weak moment in the conference room the day after Chris had died and he completely lost it. She joined him with a new wave of tears and clung to him as they both allowed their heartbreak to erupt. That day the gap that had widened between the two of them disappeared when their joint loss brought the two of them closer than ever before.

"Sonja I don't know if you realize it but I know that you found a special place in Christopher's heart" Pride told her. She was stunned to hear the words come from his mouth. "He had a lot of pain after you left. He tried to hide it from me even after Tammy went to a dark place. I know how that works because I am pretty sure that I am feeling today exactly what he must have felt when you left here. There is this void right here" he said as he pointed to his brain. "Christopher knew me like the back of his hand. He saved my life so many times I can't count them."

"It took me forever though to figure out what happened between the two you during that difficult stretch you had. Rita finally clued me in when you ask for the time off to go think. "One of them has fallen in love with the other one she told me one night. I just can't figure out which one."

"I was taken aback by her words. I thought it was you and Rita thought it was Christopher. Loretta let it slip that she thought it was the both of you and you couldn't admit it."

"Here he says as he hands her a handful of tissues. I need to get back down stairs. I'll be here Sonja if you still need to cry. Sonja took that as permission to hang closer to him the next few days but he was supplanted by Mrs. LaSalle who spent more time holding Sonja's hand than her daughter's.


	6. The Journal

**Chapter 5 – The Journal**

Sonja Percy had no idea why Cade LaSalle wanted to talk with her alone. He insisted that it be somewhere private so they walked back to the gardens behind her hotel. Cade carried a small box.

"Sonja this is one of Chris' journals that I discovered when I was cleaning out Chris' place. As I read, I decided that I should not continue. I believe that you need to see what he wrote." Sonja looked at Cade with questioning eyes. As if he could read her mind he said "just read the first two entries".

It took Percy two days to read Christopher's journal. In the end she concluded/entitled it to be a love sonnet.

Chris had captured nearly every event in their relationship from the first day at the clinic until he came to realize that what he felt for her might have crossed the line. He started with a summation of their acquaintance. Comments began when Chris finally decided that she could actually work out as a member of the team.

What was most touch to her was how much he appreciated her kindness to him during the most difficult times of his life – his suffering through Savannah's death and Melody's deception and his loss of Tucker.

Also enclosed in the box were over a dozen photos of the New Orleans NCIS team and several of just her and Christopher together.

Sonja picked up each photo and look at the smiling faces of her former teammates. Even the ones of intense cards games made her grin thinking how the guys argued and fussed over who was cheating or drowning their sorrow over losing money.

She took a long pause while looking at the ones of just her and Chris. Her face told the story even before her heart did. The looks of admiration for Christopher LaSalle were so evident. Looking at them now she wondered how she had run from him for such a long time. What a waste she thought as the tears began to fall. She remembered that she always wanted a man who loved her more than life and now sadly realized that she had met him and that now he was gone.

"_I stopped by Miller's Store to pick up a new journal. It was good to see him again. I asked about John which probably was a mistake because twenty minutes later Mr. Miller was still bragging. I threw the book into the seat beside me and headed back to the house to get my gear and kiss Momma and sis goodbye. _

_Of course momma did her usual thing and packed a box of home cooked items which also meant that I could expect an uninvited Triple P sometime in the next couple of days to help consume the food. _

First Entry

_This seems to be the right time to start this one. Way too much is going on with Percy and it seems to be dominating my daily journaling. With those comments LaSalle took two or three days to note his interactions with me over the entire first eighteen months of our relationship._

I skipped over to the next paper clip mark that Cade had made.

_May 25__th_

_This must have the best and the worse day of my life. Watching King and Sonja leave to get on that boat was almost two much for me to take. I argued with King but he put me in my place. They say that when you are about to die that your life passes in front of you but this time all I could see were scenes from the interactions that I had had with both King and Sonja. All I knew is two of the people that I loved the most in the world were most likely never going to make it back from this mission._

_This was not the first time that I had thoughts about Sonja Percy. She had found a place in my heart that seemed to surpass the friendship that I had with Merrie but I had successfully ignored it. That day on the dock there was no longer any doubt in my mind or my heart how much that I actually cared for Percy. I realized that I loved her. I also think that I may well be 'in love' with her as well._

May 26th.

_I was beginning to wonder if Percy was going to show up today and then she finally did. I was happy to see her as I walked back into the office and let her know that we had been given a two week leave. She was more than happy to be on her way and grabbed all her gear and headed out the door. I questioned her just leaving and she quipped back that I my duties as her 'work husband' were over. _

_When I questioned her she replied with a raised voice. I couldn't believe what she was saying. I had not responded well to being almost shot a few months ago and recalled how deep down that I really had been afraid. I pulled at her hard enough to have her suddenly in my arms. I could feel her melt into them. As we once again bantered back and forth it occurred to me that I cared for her more than I wanted to admit before that moment and leaned in to kiss her. She took one uneasy step back from me and turned and walked out of the squad room leaving me standing there flat footed watching her exit._

So many of the entries were humorous covering both on and off duty

Another entry covered the day that Sonja dropped by to get him and discovered Tucker and Melody.

"_I know that I broke her heart. She was so cold on the way to the incident and then ignored me after letting me know how bad I had hurt her by keeping this secret from her. What she didn't know was that my heart was breaking too. How did I get into this mess I asked myself? When I saw the look on her face, I knew that I had wounded her. She will never forgive me I thought during the silent ride."_

_For days she gave me hateful looks. She refused to be alone with me unless absolutely necessary._

The journal entries ended the day after Sonja left New Orleans. LaSalle's last words were those of resolve lamenting that the job might have cost him another woman that he could have well grown old together with.


	7. Words Home Again

Sonja wanted to do something special for the LaSalle family. Tammy reminded her that she if wasn't so close to the situation that she could probably sing for them. Triple P over heard that part of the conversation and inserted himself into the discussion. I think I can help you with that. We could record the song.

Sonja walked back to his work cubicle with him and they talked more about what she might do. In the end, they decided to make two recordings – one for the Wake in New Orleans and one for the funeral in Alabama that would be a love gift from Sonja to the LaSalles.

Chris' sister had to go back to Alabama to attend to her children. Sonja asked Cade if she could either bring or send them a photo album. She was able to overnight the materials and they combined those photos with ones that they found on Christopher's laptop computer at home. The first video came out wonderful as Sonja sang Faith Hills' song 'There You'll Be' as a background to photos of Chris from his earliest days until just a few months before his passing. Sonja told Tammy that she had kept a copy of it but didn't think that she would ever be able to watch the entire tape again.

Sonja had remembered that the TV was on one evening in 'Nola when they were working late. The movie 'The Wizard of Oz' was playing. Chris mentioned that he use to sing the song 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' with Judy Garland in the movie because he wanted to go over the rainbow too to find new adventures. She had sung it for him the last night that she was with him in the hospital. He smiled weakly and whispered 'you remembered?'

"Yes Chris" she told him 'I remembered" as she took his hand and tried to stop the barrage of tears that were trying to force their way out of her eyes. Laying her head on his chest, they both wept as Pride opened the door and quickly backed out the room not wanting to interrupt their intimate moment without them ever knowing he was there.

The second video was limited to his family and Savannah. Sonja was glad that she did not look at any of the photos until the video was completed. She had only observed Chris with Savannah once. As she looked at the photos of them together, it was so obvious how much he cared for her. Sonja's tears were not so much for them as for herself as she realized why he might have let her go with just the few words he said that last day in office. Certainly there could have been no way that he could have loved her even half that much and worked with her every day and it not interfere with his ability to stay focused on his own job and let her do hers danger and all.

Chris' funeral was held in the gym of his high school. The university sent their stage band to play given his long time affiliation with the school and his history as one of the few students to wear the 'Tide's mascot uniform. The music was wonderful and included several songs unique to the state of Alabama.

NCIS Director Vance flew in to speak and presented the family with the Navy's Distinguished Civilian Service Award for Chris' service with the agency. The Lieutenant Governor also spoke and presented the Exceptional Bravery Award from the Louisiana State Police for Chris' successful effort to protect their citizens on the sad day that Christopher was gun down.

Sonja had asked about the flowers on his casket and was told that they all were native Alabama and Louisiana. Chris' coffin was already in the gym when the family arrived and was flanked on the sides by the flags of Alabama, Louisiana, The Marine Corps and the Navy. The escort personnel included uniformed members of the Corps, the Navy and his hometown police department. It was wonderful to hear all of the kind words and memories of his friends and classmates. Sonja's video was well received and elicited a lot of tears from the attendees.

The service ended with the playing of the Crimson Tide Fight Song. The band played the Navy Hymn as he was carried from the gymnasium to the awaiting hearse. While Special Agent Christopher LaSalle had never worn a Navy uniform, all those present realized that he had given his civilian service with the dedication to bring comfort to all of the men and women who served as Marines, Naval and Coast Guard personnel and their families.

Chris was buried in the family plot next to his grandparents, his father and a baby sister.


	8. Sonja's Farewell

Sonja had put most of her items into her suitcase for her return flight to D.C. the next day. She had put off one action until this last moment. Mrs. LaSalle had asked her a couple of days ago if she wanted to see Christopher's room. She declined at both earlier inquiries. Mrs. LaSalle told her which room was his and that she was welcome to visit it and take any memorabilia that she wanted. Sonja realized that there was no longer time to put off this task.

She turned on the light and stood and looked over the whole room. The first thing she noticed was the smell. As soon as she opened the door her sinuses were encompassed with smells. She could distinguish between the bar soap he used and his aftershave.

In one corner she saw a guitar case. Hanging on the wall was a huge oversized poster of the Crimson Tide Football Team with their masked mascot. Chris loved his team and inferences of Alabama were an integral part of his speech.

She walked over and sat at his desk. Laid out on the desk were photographs albums. These she assumed were ones that Chris' sister had gone through quickly to glean the photos that she had overnighted to them in New Orleans. From the desk she could see a bookshelf. Neatly stored there were his yearbooks from high school and college. She quickly realized that someone must have returned them since the time they were at the funeral home at the Wake in Alabama.

His bed had obviously been made by him. The quilt was crooked and the throw pillows appeared to have been hastily put in place. She opened the top drawer of the desk to find a photo of him and Savannah sitting in a car. Then there were several photos of his sister and her children when they were very small.

She opened the center drawer to find a medium sized enveloped. She opened to find a cache of printed photos. Also enclosed were three business sized envelopes. One was labeled NOPD and the second one NCIS. She chose to look through the NCIS one to find photos of Pride, Brody and Chris as well as the four of them together. She reached back for the third envelope and found photos of military events in New Orleans. One was taken at event that haunted the team. It was determined to be an assassination attempt on Pride. Others were sweeter and funnier of the team dressed so formally.

The ones of her and Chris stood out. She had never seen this grouping of photos. She wondered why he had kept these to himself. Looking at her face in the photos launch another wave of tears. Look at me she thought. How could I have ever denied that I had feelings for this man? She found an empty envelope in one of the other drawer and quickly inserted selected photographs for her to take back with her.

She got up from the desk and went to the closet. Once again she was enveloped by smells. She picked up one his shirts and brought it to her face. This act also brought a tide of tears. Why she wondered. Why did he push her away? Why couldn't he just allow her to love him like she thought that she could? She knew that he deserved to be happy and she would have tried her best to do that.

Sonja picked up a couple more items including two Crimson Tide tee shirts from the room to take with her and for something that she knew she needed to do the next day.

It had been a long day. She didn't realize how much time had passed by as she sat down on his bed and picked up his pillow.

Sonja Percy was awakened by Mrs. LaSalle's hound dog. She had fallen asleep on Chris' bed. She quickly rose and picked up the bag with her keepsake items and returned to her bedroom. After returning from the shower and dressing she put everything else into her suitcases and locked them. She struggled to carry everything downstairs in one trip but was successful.

She managed to get everything into the car. She walked back into house and retrieved a beer from the fridge. Placing it inside the bag she grabbed the rest of the items that she had sitting there and began to walk toward her designation.

Chris' sister had cleaned the site well. She could still smell the fresh turned soil from where the mortician had dug Chris grave. Most of the flowers adorning it were still alive. Sonja laid out the blanket that she brought and pulled out her phone and turned on the first of the many songs that she had downloaded.

"Hello Chris.

I don't even know where to begin. Why didn't you tell me? Things might have played out a whole lot differently Christopher. These past two weeks have been so illuminating. I had no way of knowing that you loved me as much as I loved you."

"Here", she says, as she pours out a bottle of his favorite beer at the head of his plot. "I never understood why you liked this brand but here you go love."

It was quiet for just a moment as the songs on the phone changed. She sang with Patti and sang 'Somebody Loves You Baby'. "I was wrong Christopher too. I should have told you how I felt even if you didn't want to hear it. Goodbye Christopher. You will be in my heart forever."

At that she picked up all her items and walked back to the house. Mrs. LaSalle had collected a variety of food from friends and neighbors. Christopher's sister knew that Sonja was vegan and had prepared several dishes especially for her and Pride that were easily identifiable in the refrigerator.

After she had eaten and washed her dishes, she retrieved her weapon from the floor safe that Mr. LaSalle had installed in the library. It was not hard to find Mrs. LaSalle when she went into the yard. The dog was still a little leery of all the strangers including Sonja and barked warnings as she approached her location.

"It's time for me to leave for the airport, Mrs. LaSalle. Please call me if you need to at any time."

Once again Mrs. LaSalle pulled Sonja tightly. While Sonja had resisted somewhat the first couple of times, at this moment she realized that she had melted into her arms like she did with the very first hug from Christopher.

"You call me child" Mrs. LaSalle called out as Sonja turned to walk toward her rental car.

Several months passed by. Sonja Percy never knew what exactly could set her off but sometimes it was hearing a score from an Alabama athletic event, a man with an Alabama drawl, a black truck like his or the smell of his cologne but the pain did lessen. Getting back into the swing of things gave Sonja less time to focus on her loss of her dear Christopher. Three back to back overseas operations had left her tired and mentally drained. She returned to her condo after writing her last mission report looking forward to a few days off.

"Hello Ms. Percy. I have a delivery for you" the clerk at the concierge desk said. Sonja smiled to herself. She had almost forgotten that her birthday was tomorrow. Once again a vase of her favorite flowers had found their way to her door. This time, however, there was a box as well.

The yellow long stemmed roses started coming her first February in D.C. She tried the best she could to find out who was sending them on Valentine's Day and her birthday. The clerks always said they had no idea. The shop owner never did call her back.

Sonja sat the flowers down and took her briefcase into the office and put her weapon into the safe. She returned to the living room and tore the paper away from the vase and took a moment to smell the bouquet.

She then turned her attention to the box. When she opened it, she immediately recognized the writing on the enclosed envelope. It belonged to Christopher LaSalle.

"_Dear Sonja_

_You are receiving a card this time with your roses because either you have announced your engagement or marriage or I have passed on. I always wanted to make sure that you felt cherished on your special day as I remembered what a wonderful woman you are._

_I don't know what Cade or Momma have told you but I am trusting that Cade gave you my journal. If he didn't, please call him and ask him to send it to you. The journal will tell you the rest of the story but today I want you to know that I will never forget you Sonja Percy as long as I live. Your Country Mouse."_

Sonja reached back into the box to find a beautifully framed photo of Christopher and Sonja at one of the military balls that they had attended in New Orleans.

There was no consolation for Sonja Percy that night. She got the wine glasses out, turned on 'that song' and while Aretha sang, cried her eyes out. 'Ain't no way' were the last words she heard that night and the first the next morning when she awakened.

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